anyways. been working for 8 months already, and just taking my first proper break. it's been grueling to say the least. i feel that i dont work smart enough. pffft.

do i really have what it takes to succeed in this industry? what am i good at? how do i harness that to make everything work to my advantage?

sometimes i want to put myself out there, to break out of my shell. but in retrospect, all i ever do is dip my toes into an icy pool to test the waters before i do anything else. what i want to really do is run off the edge of a cliff and dive right into the churning waters. how do i find that sort of courage?

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i wonder where i have gone wrong. some ppl just dont bother reaching out to me. they only respond when i reach out. and their response only comes hours or days later. it gets very tiring. and it only goes to show the significance of my existence in your lives. yes, you all are busy people. then, am i not? a little "hey, how's it going?" now and then helps, you know. a five cent SMS cant possibly dent your wallet, can it? a facebook message wouldn't even cost you anything!

it's saddening. i feel like such a failure. and i really need to know how i got it wrong.

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wow sometimes facebook really gets on your nerves. a dead person cant possibly close his/her account. but reminders of their birthdays still pop up on Events column.