it has been a less than exciting 3 years at sim, mainly because i was not into the whole traveling thing to and from ulu venues if i joined any CCAs. so my weeks were just filled with lessons and complaints about idiots/weirdos who take bus service 74.

the 3 years spent there didnt seem at all different from one another. it was just school, long summer holidays, school, long summer holidays, school. and it was one heck of a boring place, with no scenery, cramped canteen, and serious lack of study space. what is the point of going to school if you have no tables to do your studying at? so we have to stay at home, where we have to spend more money to pay electricity bills if the weather gets too hot? private school students do not equate to rich people, you know.

anyways. the main focus of the degree i'm doing is on the final exams, just like O and A levels. if you're feeling under the weather or simply having a luckless day, then it is pretty much game over for you. everything rests on THAT one day.

the first 2 years, i always went into the exam hall thinking, ok just do whatever you can and leave it at that. and turns out i surprise myself each year. my goal was in sight. this year, i gave myself too much pressure and kept telling myself i had to get that second upper. but i cracked, and screwed up big time. questions that appeared in the prelim i easily tackled stumped me. and mind you, i spent minimal time mugging for prelims. so... there goes my second upper for sure.

but i have to say life has been very smooth sailing for me so far. compared to others, i feel blessed. and i am grateful for that.

managed to snag a job a day after my final paper, and am starting work very soon. right now, im only at the bottom rung of the corporate ladder and slowly i will discover what it takes to ascend that ladder. will have to constantly remind myself to never compromise my values. right, now i sound like some uptight 50 year old virgin. hur hur.

there will be no more summer holidays. no more 3 day weeks at school. no more tshirt+shorts+slippers combo. no more Chuck Taylors. no more naked face. no more 74 bus rides (thank goodness for that). no more student privileges at cinemas and restaurants (that sucks). but best of all, no more SIM.

and here comes: insanely crowded morning trains (now i think i prefer my 74. at least i get to sit down 90% of the time!). 5 days of long hours. uncomfortable blouses and skirts. blistered feet, bunions and corns. non-stop competition. limited weekdays off. makeup (extremely time consuming to put on and remove! exhausted from work but still have to put myself through the cleansing routine?!)

i'm sure there is a lot more i want to type here, but i kinda forgot already. old already lah, memory failing. oh see that highlighter in the picture? it has gone through O Levels and A Levels and all of university with me. running out of ink soon, but amazing eh, the speed at which i use my highlighters? i'm not some lunatic who highlights every other line in my book.

still searching for that euphoria i'm supposed to feel after the exams. all i felt was a sense of loss. touch of fear of what is to come. but i'm out of school, so that means i'm out there on my own from now on.

uhm. and i need clothes and shoes for work. very desperately.