meanwhile... the persistent sore just won't go away. it's been there for longer than i care to remember. inside me. eating me up. i keep asking myself, why is that people do this to me? does this happen to everyone else? am i so insignificant in other people's lives? did i do something wrong?

you know, sometimes all i need is an answer when i need and ask for it. but perhaps it is indeed my fault, for i am not the nicest person you will ever meet. i'm still growing as a person, and realised that it takes a lot of patience and continuous nurturing to maintain relationships with people. as long as there are humans involved, it will never be easy. that, i have to always keep in mind.

anyway. Day 3 of self imprisonment. still plodding slowly through the extremely viscous notes and books. i dont think reverse osmosis will help very much.