@grandpa's. we were three.

we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. =) those memories may fade with time, but it doesn't mean i will forget you.

1988...

my parents had not bought their own apartment, so we lived with your family till i was about 3. you, your sis and me... everyday was playdate for us.

then we moved out and sundays became my favourite day of the week cos everyone would be at grandpa's. we would run up and down the stairs, out the back door and into the back alley, crawl up and down the big drain, catch snails in grandma's backyard, ruin her bougainvillea, play with the neighbour's grandkids, draw hopscotch grids on the road with pebbles, pick durians in the nearby forest, scare grandpa's prized koi and tortoises, celebrate birthdays. we skinned our knees countless times, fought over toys, got jealous over each other’s birthday cakes, but our childhood was better than anything i could ask for.

then we grew up and visited our grandparents less. we drifted apart, talked less. we led our own lives. But i always hoped to see you whenever i visited our grandparents. i was a lot closer to your sis than i was with you, but your existence had already left an imprint in my heart a long time ago. you and your sis are and always will be my favourite cousins =)

are you sure that's your tricycle? it has tassels on it, you know.

@my place. my yellow snake as your swimming float?

@my place. i love your expression here! and the way you have the snake around your neck and body is hilarious. very... stripper-with-a-feather-boa look. HAHA. and Raphael ninja turtle for me!

@grandpa's. birthdays.

@grandpa's. with your sis. ok i just wanted to show off my Raphael ninja turtle cake and t-shirt.

@grandpa's. you stealing the limelight

@grandpa's. do re mi fa so la. pioneers of the grandchildren!

@grandpa's. with grandpa. we loved to climb up that ledge to look into the neighbour's house. peeping toms!

@grandpa's. you in your Bobdog shirt again. and i never really got to ask you why you named yourself Bob. i only laughed at that ridiculous choice.

Escape Theme Park's Flume Ride! row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, if you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream. AHHHH!

@Genting. you wouldn't stop singing jingles in the coach. "when you're feeling sleepy, stay awake with Kopiko! coffee candy, Kopiko!"

i realised i don't have any recent photos of you. after our O levels, we went very different paths. i couldn't find a common topic with you, so we chatted less and less. can't believe i didnt bother to ask what you had been up to these few years. i saw you less than 10 times a year. but my mom often talked about you, telling me how you used to be real naughty but grew up to be such a sensible man.

i'm a sucker for nostalgia, and i always catch myself reminiscing the few outings and family gatherings. or when i'm over at your place. i miss your jokes. your antics. your obsession with that annoying song, Tarzan and Jane. "Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong. Go cheetah, get banana, hey monkey, get funky!" your goofy smile that showed the front milk tooth that wouldnt fall off even in secondary school. and you had to go to the dentist to pull it out. that stupid milk tooth was the butt of many jokes at your expense. but you laughed with us all the same.

080809@elias green... the last i saw you. grandpa kept saying you look like a distant relative of ours, alan tern. and he joked about riding pillion on your bike home that night. it was a family gathering... and i had my digicam with me. why oh why didn't i take pictures of the family??

this was made by his wonderful friend. he must have been loved dearly by his friends. the 2nd half of the video is quite hilarious. his sis says the hand gestures are so him. i wouldn't know, cos i haven't seen much of him since our teenage years. i am loathe to admit that i dont know any of his likes and dislikes, his quirks. but the video made me cry nonetheless. just to see that face, hear that voice. it pains your heart. the video may lack the qualities of a good video, but it touched the hearts of those who knew him. to us, this means more than just shaky video footage.

we seek comfort in thinking that you are in a much better place right now. you beat us in reaching there. but it's ok, we will all be reunited there sooner or later. you have found a permanent home while we're still living in our temporary ones. till then~ =)

i still have more to say, but i dont know how to put it in words. maybe next time. or maybe i'll just save those thoughts for myself.

guys, sorry for the recent less-than-happy posts. i'm fine now, so there would be less/no more of this! just had to get it out of my system.

meanwhile, let me spend more time with the people i still have around me! =)