and all you want to do is ask, "why."

restless sleep last night. kept waking up at odd timings. quite weird, since i'm one to sleep like a log. and then as i was preparing for school around 6 plus a.m., came heart wrenching news.

it took some time to really sink in; it is the type of news that you cannot wrap your head around. you find it hard to believe. or refuse to believe.

there was no tree involved, by the way. they got it wrong. but the short and short of it is, yes, my beloved cousin has passed on. he was on his way home. he just didn't manage to make it home the right way.

we were not incredibly close, but as most close enough cousins do, we grew up together. if i feel the pain, the pain his immediate family is feeling must be unimaginable. it is inevitable that you feel like a chunk has been torn from your heart when you lose someone so dear.

so young. so many things yet to achieve. simply a cruel twist of fate.

i really dunno how to express myself here. all i can say is, i'm not sure if i believe in afterlife, but if there really is, i hope he's living one that's infinitely better than the one he just had. and i'm sure grandma will look after him there.

a filial son, a loving brother, a great friend.

Yi Jin, may you rest in peace. you will be very dearly missed.