Haiz. i'm feeling depressed after listening to westlife. well that's a first.

It's not called "The Love Album" for nothing you know. listening to it just makes me feel so... loveless! i'm not blind, i have noticed more people getting boyfriends, and yet more breaking up. i'm torn between wanting love and not wanting to get hurt. i mean, i'm not the type who plunges straight into a relationship just because i like someone. i ask myself questions that may seem ridiculous to you. but that's just cos i think too much and too far.

that night at the chalet we were talking about BGR, and someone was saying 'when u like someone, you dont think so far one.'

Then i asked someone who was already attached how long did he think the relationship would last. it's a stupid question really, but i just couldnt help asking. after all, there are loads of people that you have yet to meet. how do you know which is the one for you? yes, you will find out. but it would be by doing what i would like to call trial and error. in other words, get yourself a partner, find that you two are incompatible, break up, then hook up with another soon after. the cycle goes on till you find the right one. no? I always had the feeling that the one that you find during your school days isnt going to last. we're still kids-everyone's playing around! everyone wants to have a taste if what it is like to be in a relationship and it's usually not taken seriously. i never believed that what you share in that kind of relationship was called love. do we even know what is love? alright, i may be too cynical here, but that's what i think of bgr when you are still schooling.

besides, why would anyone want to tie him/herself to a person? school is supposed to be a place to socialize and make as many friends as possible right? why go restrict your freedom of making friends by getting a bf/gf? everything you do has to be reported bla bla bla. what's the point? don't you want freedom??? oh my goodness. i just don't get it.

ok if i didnt have all of the above in mind, there's still the problem of confessing that you like that particular someone. if that person was your friend, would you

a) tell him/her straight in the face

or

b) think about the consequences of the confession?

for me, it's the latter. but, if i don't make my feelings known, would i ever know how the other person would react?

that's just one of the many reasons i'm still single. ya i've never had a boyfriend in my entire life, unless you consider the boy i kissed on the cheek when i was what, 4? i have the picture, but it's too embarrasing to show anyone. haha. so, views that come from me are very likely to be one-sided, till i am in a relationship and confident of saying that i know what exactly love is.

i would say again, that being single=lonely freedom.

love is a many splendid thing, it really is. but yet so complex.